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One cheekbone was smashed. It wasn’t good. I had cried when I saw my face. I have never been what anyone could call beautiful, at least by magazine standards. And I hated my nose, it was long and thin and looked like it should belong to someone else. Now I was horribly ugly! They put my arm back together, it will be a long time before I type 80 words per minute again, but I will. My leg is healing, it itches though. Now it was time to try and fix my face. I insisted I wanted to be put back exactly the way I was. Something in me insisted, it took me awhile to realize it was just fear. Well, I have faced fear before, I steeled myself. Doctor Hansett was to do the facial surgery, he showed me options he could do. He also mentioned a tiny bit of snugging up would take out some of the lines that were daily becoming more obvious. He used a computer screen to show me the different looks, I was indifferent, still insisting on just the way I was. Then one combination caught my eye. He sensed. It’s not unique to you, although there’s no formal name. Feeling that way doesn’t mean you’re inadequate or crazy. If you want to change your feelings about it, we can help there.“In no way am I saying that Justin acted appropriately, but at some level, the idea of exposure to a threat is the way therapists deal with phobias. Justin, however, did it completely wrong, by confronting and forcing.“Now, here’s a question that would help me point you in the right direction. Would you be willing to watch other people having happy sex? When and if you remained in control, would you be willing to try very gentle exposure by other people?”“Oh yes, Diane.”“Candace, if the level of detail we talk about bothers you, raise a hand. If we start working on your triggers, someone always will take a responsibility for protecting you. It might be me. We are bringing in a psychologist, Diane. I will also use, with your permission, dancers and other people in the organization, whom I think have superb.
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